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Punya banyak hubungan sebelum menikah alias banyak mantan bukan berarti kamu bakal ahli dalam kehidupan pernikahan. Justru hal tersebut bisa merugikan kamu sendiri. Kenapa bisa begini? Hipwee akan mengungkapkannya di sini.
1. Bukannya jadi lebih berhati-hati. Kamu yang punya banyak mantan bisa lebih mudah membandingkan
Punya banyak mantan bukan lantas bisa kamu banggakan. Pengalaman dalam hubungan percintaan sebelumnya nggak serta-merta mempermudah kehidupan pernikahan. Bahkan mungkin bisa mendatangkan keburukan. Saat pasanganmu melakukan kesalahan, secara sadar atau enggak, kamu bakal mulai membandingkan. “Tahu kayak gini mending aku sama si ini aja” atau “Ternyata lebih baikan mantanku yang itu” akan mulai terbersit dipikiran kamu. Kenapa? Karena bagimu, dengan banyaknya pengalaman dalam hubungan percintaan akan kamu jadikan bahan untuk perbandingan tentang siapa yang “lebih”.
2. Gampang swap pasangan menunjukkan kamu sulit mencapai level kedewasaan. Sekali bosan langsung buang
Mudahnya untuk berganti hubungan dari satu ke yang lain juga membuatmu sulit untuk mencapai level kedewasaan. Saat ada masalah yang sulit untuk diselesaikan, kamu lebih memilih untuk mengakhiri daripada bertahan. Padahal mempertahankan sebuah hubungan adalah sebuah pelajaran. Tapi sayang, karena banyak pilihan, kamu lebih memilih untuk menyelesaikan hubungannya, bukan masalahnya. Dimana kamu bisa belajar arti kedewasaan jika sebuah masalah membuatmu langsung menyerah?
3. Sekarang sih bisa seenaknya. Kalau sekarang begini, waktu sudah menikah nanti apa kabarnya?
Semasa pacaran, mungkin kamu bebas untuk tinggal atau pergi. Hubungan dengan ikatan yang sebatas “Aku sayang kamu dan kamu sayang aku” membuatmu gampang saja untuk melepas sebuah hubungan. Masalah yang datang atau sekedar bosan menjadi alasan untuk “hubungan kita cukup sampai di sini saja”. Sayangnya, ketika kamu sudah diikat tali pernikahan, maka hubungan nggak bakal semudah “aku nggak cocok sama kamu, kita udahan aja”. Karena saat sudah berjanji dengan Tuhan sebagai saksi, maka kamu tak bisa seenaknya mengakhiri lalu pergi.
4. Setelah pernikahan masalah tak seremeh pasangan yang lupa memberi kabar. Menyerah cuma karena masalah remeh menunjukkan betapa kamu tak tabah
Jika kamu memiliki banyak pengalaman dalam hubungan, artinya sebuah hubungan yang pernah kamu jalani nggak berlangsung lama. Salah satu penyebabnya adalah banyaknya persoalan yang membuatmu berpikir bahwa hubungan ini nggak layak untuk diteruskan. Padahal, sebuah hubungan yang berlangsung lama akan melatihmu dalam menghadapi persoalan.
Ketika sebuah hubungan berlangsung lama, bukan berarti mereka tak dilanda permasalahan. Hanya saja mereka memilih untuk bertahan dan berusaha untuk menyelesaikan apapun persoalan. Mereka berlatih untuk menjalankan kehidupan setelah pernikahan. Yang semua orang tahu, bahwa ikatan suci pernikahan bukan berlangsung dalam hitungan bulanan, tapi hingga maut memisahkan.
5. Mudah merasa dikecewakan, merasa jadi korban. Semua bisa terjadi karena akumulasi mantan
Sering kandasnya hubungan pacaran tentu meninggalkan kekecewaan bagimu. Kecewa dengan hubunganmu yang pertama, kamu memulai hubungan kedua. Sayangnya hubungan itu pun nggak berlangsung lama. Lagi-lagi berakhir dengan kekecewaan. Begitu seterusnya hingga kamu punya segudang pengalaman dalam hubungan, tentunya dengan kekecewaan yang berulang. Mungkin kamu merasa “kebal” dengan kekecewaan yang terjadi setiap kamu mengakhiri hubungan. Tapi jauh dari itu, kekecewaan itu membuatmu sulit untuk percaya dengan pasangan. Dan sayangnya, kepercayaan itulah yang menjadi landasan sebuah pernikahan mampu bertahan.
6. “Kamu sama saja kayak dia!” Banyaknya pengalamanmu sebelumnya membuatmu merasa akan disakiti seperti yang sudah-sudah
Sebuah kesalahan yang terjadi dalam rumah tangga adalah hal biasa. Anggap saja itu adalah ujian untuk saling mendewasakan. Namun, bagimu yang sudah punya pengalaman dengan kesalahan itu sangat sulit untuk bisa memahami. Ya, lagi-lagi karena pada hubungan-hubungan sebelumnya, daripada mencoba menerima, kamu lebih memilih untuk mengakhiri saja. Apalagi jika kesalahan yang mungkin nggak sengaja dilakukan oleh pasangan seumur hidupmu juga pernah dilakukan oleh mantanmu sebelumnya. Kamu bakal dengan gampangnya bilang “Kamu sama aja kayak dia!”. Terus apakah kamu juga akan meninggalkan pasanganmu layaknya mantan-mantan terdahulu? Hey, ini bukanlah hubungan tanpa ikatan, tapi ikatan yang telah kamu janjikan untuk saling menerima apa adanya.
7. Mudahnya kamu menjalin hubungan baru dengan alasan ingin mencari lebih baik di masa lalu, tak berlaku saat kamu sudah mengucapkan janji sehidup semati
Sumber.www.hipwee.com
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